And I’m back!!!!
Can’t tell you how happy I am to be running again. I have a lot of ground to make up but I will NOT give up!
…I need to remember how I feel right now, not being able to run. I hope this makes me grateful for all I CAN do when I am healthy and uninjured.
We are a million walking stories. Each story is valuable and precious. It makes us who we are. Most of us don’t like our stories. So we spend our days trying to rip out chapters without knowing that we can actually change our story, write new chapters. But only after we have accepted it.
Today, I will accept my story knowing that it’s the only way I can change it.
I’ve been in such a funk lately. This whole toe thing, while minor in the scheme of things, is wearing on me. I feel myself getting depressed and more anxious by the day and I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve been going to my trainer but it isn’t enough. My eating sucks and my house is a mess. I’ve lost all motivation and have begun looking at fat clothes since alot of my clothes are now too tight.
…what to do, what to do…
I’m at a time in my life where I need to be done with having babies. A lot of people think I’m nuts for wanting to have more kids but it is what it is and sometimes it’s hard to change how one feels about something that is so emotional.
I’m trying really hard to come up with some positives for being done and that is what this post is about.
- I can drink wine when I want without worrying about getting pregnant.
- I can get a boob job if I want.
- We are down to one kid at home and we have the freedom to do a lot more with her than if we had more kids.
- I don’t have to worry about getting sick while pregnant (I have very hard pregnancies).
- I can train harder and get that smokin’ body I’ve always wanted.
I welcome more positive ideas. This is so hard for me, I’ve spent my adult life being mom and I am kind of at a loss as to where to go now.
In my weigh in I said I have a plateful and indeed I do.
Aside from my broken toe, it just doesn’t seem like my family can catch a break. T called me from work Wednesday night at 1am because he thought he had a kidney stone. For this man to complain about anything means he was in pain that would knock a normal guy unconscious. Anyway, he didn’t have a kidney stone…he has 3 of them. He got home about 4am which means I was up pretty much all night.
Yesterday, C (who is my grandson, L’s, mom) texted and asked if she should worry about a rash in L’s mouth. After further questioning, she told me he had had a fever a few days before which means the rash is probably hand foot and mouth disease. Not serious, but highly contagious. Not long after this conversation I took Princess B’s temperature because she felt warm: 101.4 and likely she caught what L has. Sigh. No gym for me today and no dance class for her tonight.
My second daughter, M, was supposed to come into town this morning (from Chicago) and we were going to spend the day together and then she was going to babysit for us tomorrow. Her flight to Chicago was diverted because of storms and she ended up stuck in Indy overnight. She will be coming in later but no outlet mall shopping for us between Princess B’s fever and M getting in late.
I’m really hoping this is it for the week and that this weekend goes smoothly. I’m starting to feel a little overwhelmed here.
Now I’m off to try to get some housework done, which is extremely difficult and time consuming while in a boot. I just can’t stand how out of control my
life house is.
Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels. Often, that’s a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don’t want to. But other things are harder. Try it: “I’m not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it’s not a priority.” “I don’t go to the doctor because my health is not a priority.” If these phrases don’t sit well, that’s the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don’t like how we’re spending an hour, we can choose differently.
Highest Weight: 195
Last week: 184
Total lost this week: 0.8#
Exercise: 2 out of 3 gym sessions done
Food: meh. I could have done better and I will do better next week.
Goal for the coming week: increase water intake, decrease refined sugar
Not a great week but not bad either. I had alot on my plate (no pun intended!) and I think I handled it all pretty well. Details to follow!
I was too upset yesterday to post my toe update. The doc said I’ll be in my boot for at least 3 more weeks, possibly longer. That not only puts me out of my upcoming race but really makes it difficult to work on losing weight that I so desperately need to lose. I feel like when I am able to start again, I’ll be starting from square one and I am so damn frustrated.
So, today I worked out with my trainer (upper body and abs) and am now sitting at home with my foot up, trying not to see the mess my house is in. I know things could be so much worse but right now I’m so sad to see something I worked so hard for slip away.
Page 1 of 21